Ch. 4: How Singapura Repaid Majapahit’s Insult

The chapter begins by intro­ducing the king of Majapahit, who traces his ancestry from heaven (“dari keinderaan”). He is referred to as Batara Majapahit, and his kingdom covers the entire island of Java and half of the rest of Nusantara. He married the daughter of the Raja of Tanjung Pura (whom we had met in Chapter 3) and they have two sons, the elder of whom is on track to take over.

When Batara Majapahit finds out about the thriving kingdom of Singapura, whose king does not pledge obedience to him, he gets pissed off. So he sends a curious gift to Singapura; it is a long piece of wood-​shaving, cut up without a break and paper-​thin, and rolled-​up to become an ear-​ring. His envoy sails to Singapura and presents the gift, together with a letter, to the king, Paduka Seri Pikrama Wira. The king reads out the letter, which says: “Look at how skilful the artisans of Java are. Are the artisans of Singapore as good?” Paduka Seri Pikrama Wira unwraps the gift and sees the ear-​ring. He smiles because he knows what Batara Majapahit’s intention is. The king of Singapura then says, “Batara Majapahit seeks to disparage my manliness, and so he sends me a woman’s ear-​ring.” The Javanese envoy seeks to defend his leader by saying this wasn’t the intention at all, and that Batara Majapahit was merely curious to know if Singapura had craftsmen who were as skilled in making such a fine cut.

After hearing this explanation, Paduka Seri Pikrama Wira replies that Singapura has people who can do even more amazing things with blades. He sends for a carpenter, Sang Bintan. The king then gets a boy to be presented to him. For a moment, I thought the boy would be circumcised and his foreskin sent to Java. But, instead, Paduka Seri Pikrama Wira orders Sang Bintan to shave off the boy’s hair with a beliung (an adze, an instrument normally used for smoothing wood). The traumatised boy wails in fear, but his hair is finally cut so cleanly that it looks like a specialised razor was used:

Paduka Seri Pikrama Wira asks the envoy to appreciate how smooth the boy’s head has become; this is presented as proof that the artisans of Singapura can, if they want, create even more amazing things with wood than the ear-​ring presented by Majapahit. Paduka Seri Pikrama Wira tells the envoy to bring the hair-​shaving adze back to Java as a present to Batara Majapahit. The poor envoy sails back; somehow, I think he knows this is not going to end well.

Back in the Javanese court, the envoy presents the adze, with a letter, to Batara Majapahit. The envoy also recounts the incident of the Singapura court being temporarily turned into a boy’s barber-​shop. Batara Majapahit goes ballistic on hearing this, as he can interpret Paduka Seri Pikrama Wira’s true intention: “He’s telling me that if we dare to set foot in Singapura, we will have our head shaved!” In this context, ‘head shaved’ can be translated to our own idiom as ‘ass kicked’. So Batara Majapahit orders a whole fleet of one hundred ships, together with many smaller vessels, to attack the little red dot called Singapura. He appoints one of his best generals to head the attack.

The Majapahit army, upon reaching Singapura, gets into turbo-​charged killing mode. The men of Singapura fight back. The clash of weapons create deafening sounds (“gemer­encing bunyinya segala senjata”); thunder rumbles in the sky; many people are killed and the ground flows with blood. By the end of the day, the few remaining Javanese forces retreat back into their ships. The book warns us that the battle was a very long one and that a full account would bore the audience (“jikalau dihikayatkan semuanya, jemulah segala orang yang menengar dia”) and won’t have any intel­lectual benefit (“tiada gemari bagi segala yang berakal”). Suffice it to say that Majapahit got pwned by Singapura, and the Javanese soldiers sailed back with their tails between their legs.

Aug 19, 2010 – 9:36 AM | By Amir Muhammad | Posted in Blog Post | Comments (2,309)

Previous Chapters

  • CH 15–2: How Kampar Got Steamrolled by Melaka
  • CH. 15–1: How a Melakan Warrior Had to Wait Before Kicking Haru Asses
  • Ch. 14–5: Why the Bendahara Mentions Royal Horniness on His Deathbed
  • Ch. 14–4: How Melaka Delivered a Smackdown to Pahang
  • Ch. 14–3: How the Sultan of Melaka Turned into a Kick-​ass Vigilante
  • Ch. 14–2: How a Grandmother From Hell is Stopped from Committing Regicide
  • Ch 14–1: How the People of Campa Ended Up in Melaka
  • Ch. 13: How the Pasai King’s Uppity Words Lost Him a Valuable Ally
  • Ch. 12–3: How the Sultan of Melaka Got Cock-​Blocked
  • Ch 12–2: How The Pasai Philosopher Answers (or Not) a Riddle from Melaka
  • Ch. 12–1: Why the Horny Prince of Mengkasar Goes on a Destructive Spree
  • Ch. 11: How a Game of Sepak Raga Turned Deadly
  • Ch. 10: How the Raja of China Cured His Skin Problem
  • Ch. 9–5: How the Sultan of Melaka Got His Elephant Back
  • Ch. 9–4: How the Raja of China’s Daughter Came to Melaka
  • Ch. 9–3: How Hang Tuah Killed Hang Kasturi
  • Ch. 9–2: How the Melakans Responded to the King of Majapahit’s Practical Jokes
  • Ch. 9–1: How the Queen of Majapahit Chose Her Husband
  • Ch. 8–2: How Melaka Became Siam’s BFF
  • Ch. 8–1: How the Siamese Were Fooled
  • Ch. 7: Why The Bendahara of Melaka Committed Suicide
  • Ch. 6–3: How Melaka was Founded, and Then Became Muslim
  • Ch. 6–2: How a King’s Horniness Got Him into Trouble with His Brother
  • Ch. 6–1: How Islam Came to the Malay World
  • Ch. 5: How Eating Vomit Can Make You A Superman
  • Ch. 4: How Singapura Repaid Majapahit’s Insult
  • Ch. 3: How Singapore Got Its Name
  • Ch. 2: How China Saved Itself
  • Ch. 1: Alexander?

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