Ch. 14–2: How a Grandmother From Hell is Stopped from Committing Regicide

The chapter continues with the news that, after ruling for 73 years (which would make him 90), Sultan Mansur Syah falls ill. He summons his children, the Bendahara, and all his chiefs, and he tells them: “I feel the world is slipping from my grasp, and I now yearn for the afterlife. To Bendahara Paduka Raja and all the other chiefs, I hereby appoint my son Raja Radin to take over from me. If he does anything wrong, you should forgive him as he’s just a boy who hasn’t yet learned the customs. That’s why you should educate him.”

He then tells his son Raja Radin: “You should protect your subjects. If they do anything wrong, you should forgive them, because, as the Almighty God has said, innallaha ma^as-sabirin (Allah is with the patient). If you are faced with a duty, you have to put your duty to God above all else, for as the Prophet Muhammad said: ‘Min tawakkal alallahi kafi (Surrender yourself to the will of God and that will suffice for you).’ My son, do as I say and you will surely receive the grace of God and His Prophet (peace be upon him).”

When they hear Sultan Mansur Syah’s words, everyone there bawls shame­lessly. The Bendahara and the other ministers say: “Don’t break our hearts! We vow (‘berkaul’) that if you are fated by Almighty God to recover from this sickness, we will distribute all the wealth of the treasury to the poor and needy. But — although God forbid if it were so! — if the grass under your royal feet should wilt, we will all comply with your bidding.” After this, Sultan Mansur Syah dies; and he is buried with the customary royal ceremony.

Raja Radin is then installed as the new king by Bendahara Paduka Raja, and he carries the title Sultan ‘Alauddin Ri’ayat Syah. And Sultan ‘Alauddin becomes a boy of unmatched strength. But after some time, he gets diarrhoea (“sakit buang air”) and he has to take a dump 12 times a day. Bendahara Paduka Raja and the Laksamana never leave their king’s side; (the Bendahara) would feed him 10 to 20 times a day, as if he would feed (“menyuap”) a baby; and the Laksamana would clean (“membasuh”) him 20 or 30 times a day. (Who says that life as a high-​ranking officer of the court would be glamorous, eh?)

Sultan ‘Alauddin has a grand­mother, the mother of Raja Mansur Syah (which would make her well over 100); people call her Raja Tuha; and she has a great fondness for Sultan Muhammad, the ruler of Pahang. She really wants Sultan ‘Alauddin to die, so that Sultan Muhammad can take over the throne! Gosh! She’s not the sweet type of grand­mother that we saw in:

After some time, Sultan ‘Alauddin gets a bit better, and he is given rice and milk, but he has a relapse (“bentan”) and almost dies. Bendahara Paduka Raja and the Laksamana are told, and they come to the palace. And Raja Tuha’s thought is: “Get me to the palace, so that I can lie down on top of (‘kutiharapi’) Sultan ‘Alauddin and weep for him, so that he can die while being crushed!” So Raja Tuha goes to the palace, and she heads for Sultan ‘Alauddin Ri’ayat Ayah, but Bendahara Paduka Raja and the Laksamana say to her: “Your Highness! Don’t go anywhere near your grandson!” And the wicked old lady asks, “Why won’t you allow me near him?” The Bendahara and the Laksamana say, “If you go near him, we will attack (‘amuklah’)!” And Raja Tuha asks, “OMG, are you being disloyal Malays?!” The Bendahara and the Laksamana reply: “Yes, Malays are being disloyal just this one time. If you go anywhere near your grandson, we will attack!” And so Raja Tuha cancels her plan to go near Sultan ‘Alauddin. After this the Bendahara, the Penghulu Bendahari and the Laksamana take good care of Sultan ‘Alauddin, and he is preserved by Almighty God, which means that his ‘death summons’ (“surat azal”) isn’t yet issued.

Sultan ‘Alauddin recovers, and he gives robes of honour to Bendahara Paduka Raja and the Laksamana, and he gives palanquins (“usungan”) to carry them wherever they go, with their people accom­panying them. The Bendahara’s palanquin is wrapped in yellow (and kept) in his public hall. And his people say to him: “Why are you being a doofus (‘bagai pak si bendul’)? The Laksamana makes full use of his palanquin, which carries him all over the place, with his people marching with him; doesn’t that make a grand sight? But you, sir, when you are being carried at all, you don’t take us to accompany you.”

And the Bendahara replies: “Who is being a doofus here, me (or you)? When the Laksamana is being carried thus, with his men marching with him, the people doing their trade nearby will ask: ‘Who’s that in the palanquin?’ and they will be told, ‘It’s the Laksamana.’ Then they’ll ask: ‘Is the Laksamana an important man?’ and they will be told, ‘Yes he is.’ Then they’ll ask, ‘Is there anyone more important than him?’ and they will be told, ‘Yes, the Bendahara is more important.’ So, then, when I go out in my palanquin, the people will also ask, ‘Is the Bendahara an important man?’ and they will be told, ‘Yes he is.’ Then they’ll ask, ‘Is there anyone more important than him?’ and they will be told, ‘No, no one is.’ Some people, those who don’t know the whole story, might even take me for the king himself, as our ruler is still just a boy. And here’s another thing. If the king goes out in his palanquin, you must escort him. (But if you were to do the same for me) people will confuse me for the king, and where would that leave his superiority over me? As for the Laksamana, his henchmen don’t appear in court functions, while all of you are always in the king’s hall of audience.” And the Bendahara’s men fall silent when they hear this.

It becomes a habit that whenever the Bendahara gets a good new boat or weapon, and the Laksamana hears of it, the Laksamana will say, “Lemme see it!” The Bendahara will refuse but the Laksamana will insist. After being pestered for some time, the Bendahara will then show it. And whenever the Laksamana sees the thing, he will take it. This happens often. And so the Bendahara’s men tell him: “Why are you being a doofus? All your good boats and weapons are taken by the Laksamana, and so we, your people, don’t get anything.” The Bendaraha replies, “Who’s being the doofus here, me? Or you? If I have a good elephant or horse, you are welcome to ask me for it. But what do you know about such things (as opposed to boats and weapons)? The Laksamana is a great warrior, and that’s why I give him good weapons. So if the king’s enemies were to attack, we can get him to do the fighting, so that people will say he’s not the king’s warrior, but OUR warrior.”

After ruling for some time, Sultan ‘Alauddin and his wife Tun Naja (daughter of the elderly Seri Nara Aldiraja, and sister of Seri Maharaja) have a few sons and daughters. One of the sons is Sultan Ahmad and the other is Sultan Abdul Jalil. He gives away his eldest daughter in marriage to … Sultan Ahmad! (This initially seems like brother-​sister incest, but the people who’ve studied this manuscript assure us that some crucial words are missing, and it should actually read: “… to a son of the Raja of Pahang, named Sultan Ahmad.” So they are still related, but not THAT closely.) With his royal wife, Sultan ‘Alauddin has two sons: Raja Munawar Syah and Raja Zainal. We are told that Raja Menawar Syah is older than Raja Mahmud (and this is the first time we are hearing of Raja Mahmud; he is another son of Sultan ‘Alauddin with his non-​royal wife Tun Naja) but the king prefers Raja Mahmud to succeed him.

Sep 18, 2010 – 9:17 AM | By Amir Muhammad | Posted in Blog Post | Comments (811)

Previous Chapters

  • CH 15–2: How Kampar Got Steamrolled by Melaka
  • CH. 15–1: How a Melakan Warrior Had to Wait Before Kicking Haru Asses
  • Ch. 14–5: Why the Bendahara Mentions Royal Horniness on His Deathbed
  • Ch. 14–4: How Melaka Delivered a Smackdown to Pahang
  • Ch. 14–3: How the Sultan of Melaka Turned into a Kick-​ass Vigilante
  • Ch. 14–2: How a Grandmother From Hell is Stopped from Committing Regicide
  • Ch 14–1: How the People of Campa Ended Up in Melaka
  • Ch. 13: How the Pasai King’s Uppity Words Lost Him a Valuable Ally
  • Ch. 12–3: How the Sultan of Melaka Got Cock-​Blocked
  • Ch 12–2: How The Pasai Philosopher Answers (or Not) a Riddle from Melaka
  • Ch. 12–1: Why the Horny Prince of Mengkasar Goes on a Destructive Spree
  • Ch. 11: How a Game of Sepak Raga Turned Deadly
  • Ch. 10: How the Raja of China Cured His Skin Problem
  • Ch. 9–5: How the Sultan of Melaka Got His Elephant Back
  • Ch. 9–4: How the Raja of China’s Daughter Came to Melaka
  • Ch. 9–3: How Hang Tuah Killed Hang Kasturi
  • Ch. 9–2: How the Melakans Responded to the King of Majapahit’s Practical Jokes
  • Ch. 9–1: How the Queen of Majapahit Chose Her Husband
  • Ch. 8–2: How Melaka Became Siam’s BFF
  • Ch. 8–1: How the Siamese Were Fooled
  • Ch. 7: Why The Bendahara of Melaka Committed Suicide
  • Ch. 6–3: How Melaka was Founded, and Then Became Muslim
  • Ch. 6–2: How a King’s Horniness Got Him into Trouble with His Brother
  • Ch. 6–1: How Islam Came to the Malay World
  • Ch. 5: How Eating Vomit Can Make You A Superman
  • Ch. 4: How Singapura Repaid Majapahit’s Insult
  • Ch. 3: How Singapore Got Its Name
  • Ch. 2: How China Saved Itself
  • Ch. 1: Alexander?

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